Chinese New Year

I used to like Chinese New Year when I was younger but not anymore. I can't remember when exactly I stop liking this festive occasion - I guess it should be around my early teenage years - when my cousins and I no longer find games such as "Catching", "Heart Attack" or "Happy Family" fun anymore. We were also no longer deprived of soft drinks and junk food so the occasion was no longer appealing.

I was brought up in a non-gambling environment so poker cards was a rare sight. The standard activities were to eat, drink and watch television. Because I see my cousins only once a year, we have nothing much to talk about and for my much younger cousins, nothing to talk about because of the generation gap. My youngest cousin is only three. I'm the oldest grandchild. I have nothing to say to my aunties and uncles so I'd rather not try too hard - its too superficial. I'm sure the feeling is mutual. I'm not even close to my parents, let alone relatives. At times, I wish my parents had been different in the way they raised my brother and me - we are emotionally too independent. That being said, it doesn't mean we are incapable of love - we are - just that we are not the clingy sort.

As the years passes, the hours I clocked each year at my grandparents' place dwindle. This year, I stayed for two hours. The last, three. Even Cousin B didn't turn up this year. I haven't seen his brother for more than four years. Frankly, I'd rather stay at home with my pet dogs and my laptop.

Strangely, nobody asked me about my boyfriend - I was glad. It was the second year I visited my grandparents' place without him. We broke up in Sep 07, after eight years. I never really officially told my parents about us but I guess it was easy to tell and so, it became an unspoken awareness. My brother, however, brought his girlfriend along for the first time. The others didn't make it to this stage. I think he is serious about this girl.

I don't know if I will want to go to my grandparents' place next year. Maybe if I see someone by then, it would be a reason.