Why Men Can Only Do One Thing at a Time and Women Never Stop Talking

I was in the bookstore waiting for a friend to pick me up at Novena Square this afternoon and by chance, decided to browse this book. Eventually, I decided it was hilarious and relating enough to make the purchase. Most are quite true (for most women) and I had a good laugh. Below are some excerpts.



All talk

A woman talks to show participation and build relationships. If a woman is talking to you a lot, she likes you. If she's not talking to you, you're in trouble.

For a woman, speech has a clear purpose: to build relationships and make friends - not to solve problems. A woman can spend two weeks on vacation with her girlfriend and, when she returns home, telephone the same girlfriend and talk for another two hours.

All quiet on the western front

For men, not talking is perfectly natural.

For men, to talk is to relate the facts. Men see the telephone as a communication tool for relaying facts and information to other people, but a woman sees it as a means of bonding.

All men hate to hear 'We need to talk about our relationship.' These seven words would strike fear even into the heart of Superman.

Giving the silent treatment

If a woman wants to punish you she won't talk. Men call this 'the silent treatment'. The threat from a woman of, 'I'll never talk to you again!' is one to be taken seriously.

Taking 'the silent treatment'

When a man is being given 'the silent treatment', it will take him around nine minutes of silence to realise that he's being punished. Until the nine-minute mark is reached, he sees her silence as a kind of bonus - he's getting some 'peace and quiet'.

Women's English

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure.. Go ahead = I don't want you to
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Men's English

I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $150 and it doesn't look that much different!

I love you

Saying 'I love you' is never a problem for a woman. A woman's brain-wiring makes her world full of feelings, emotions, communication and words. A woman knows that when she feels warm, wanted and adored and is in the attachment stage, she's probably in love. Women recognise when love does not exist and that's why most relationships are ended by women.